Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Not ME Anymore...

This and this and even this are not ME.

I'm turning into someone I don't like and I guess that just draws the line for me.

I've told a good friend I have to choose by the end of the year what's really best for me, but why wait?

Sure there's hope for things to be better or at least for things to go back to  the way they used to be but prolonging the choice won't make it any more right or wrong.

A decision needs to be made now and I'm choosing me.

My relationship with HE should make us both better persons but with the way things are, looks like its not turning out that way for me.

I don't want a culture of distrust.

I don't want to be the confrontational b*tch.

And I don't want to fight for lost battles anymore.

Sure I might be acting from impulse and sure I will have regrets but I can deal with HE or J and whatever they become but me, it would be hard for me to deal with a Self that I don't like.

So here goes.

16 comments:

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    1. nah - i have a flare for drama guyrony... :)

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  2. So... When are we gonna drink about this? Strong, Kaloy. Strong. :D

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    1. cheers LJ! yeah Strong... Strong ICE!!! :)

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  3. There's nothing you can't accomplish with God and goodness on your side. Stay strong Kaloy :)

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    1. salamat ♔ıǝɹɯɐı♔ - here's to moving forward...

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  4. i really do hope that you'll stick with your decision this time. :)

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    1. i really hope too - :). thanks gillboard.

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  5. FINALLY KALOY! haaaaay grabe...

    Well, You've made the right decision and that is.... to be a better person :)

    *Pat on the back*
    Im very proud of you Kaloy. I was like.... like this when I was reading the first part of this entry oh /:l *raised eyebrow yan ah panget drawing ko. haha!* tapos ito nman :/ and then this one :) and finally :D haha!

    But kiddin aside, I really am proud of you. You've finally come into your senses. tama ba idiom ko? hehe! pinapatawa lang kita masydao na kasing naging mabigat ang mga bagay bagay sayo eh. ;)

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    1. yeah - i'm cleaning out my fabulous closet finally! salamat russell.

      PS: tagos sa laman kaya yung commnet mong "*sigh*" - hehehe

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    2. infairness sa cabinet mo ang daming rainbows and ponies, flowers and butterflies tapos may heart heart pa sa may door ng cabinet. hahaha! choz.

      grabe naman sa tagos sa laman? ganown? eh kasi ako ang napapagod sayo that time Kalyo eh kasi I know naman na mabuti kang tao and you don't deserve HE.

      Pero seriously am happy for you :)

      PS:
      medyo medyo nagtampo kaya ako dun sa feeling ko di mo na ko pinapansin wala kang reply eh. hahaha! araw araw kaya ako nag che-check sa blog mo for replies. char!

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    3. Ay teka! pakinggon mo yung That I would be good by Alanis Morissette dedicate ko sayo yan :)

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    4. Thank you Russell! Yeah,I heard the song na. :)

      Kung wala ako reply, talagang wala akong ma-i-reply pag ganun. Hehehe. But i absorb every word.

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  6. Hello Kaloy. I'm here again. Any relatioship must turn us into a better person. When anything changes us into the person we are not meant to be, then, somewhere something is wrong. In your past three entries, I sensed something different with you and I'm glad you noticed it yourself. You seemed to be a good, kind-hearted, educated and loving person but your feelings and experiences clouded the real you and yes, it's time to ask yourself if you are becoming something you yourself don't like. The problem is not with you Kaloy. I think it is with HE. He seems not to care about you and your feelings and in so doing, is pushing you to be the person you are not. Maybe, just maybe you can talk to HE and tell him who he is. He may not reform or change but at least, somebody has the courage to let him see the real HE. God bless Kaloy. You are a good person!!!

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    1. I wish I had a name to call you. :)

      Thank you for the belief that I'm a good person - but i'm not entirely that. I must admit to some "badness" - but don't we all?

      Here's to believing in goodness.

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