HE looked at me, tears flowing from HE's eyes.
What would you have me do? HE struggled to say.
I never saw HE this vulnerable. I have seen HE cry but not like this - not like the world is about to end.
I touched HE's face and wiped the tears with my thumbs.
Kailan lang, ikaw ang nagpupunas ng luha ko. I struggled to smile.
Ayaw mo na? HE said when I asked HE to talk about us.
Ayaw ko, na hindi na kita masasagot ng "mahal din kita." I replied.
Hindi naman ako nanghihingi ng sagot. HE said.
But I'm giving it anyway. I replied again
Si J ba? He was a mistake and I should have known better than to leave you. If I need to apologize everyday - gagawin ko. HE said.
Let's go away - where you can be secure. You can have my phone. Alam naman ni SHE number mo. HE continued.
I was silent.
P*tang ina Kaloy! Say something! HE raised his voice in fury like never before.
This? Us? Your throwing us away! HE pushed me against the wall.
HE looked at me intensely, HE's breath is heavy, both arms enclosing me - palms against the wall.
Argh! HE shouted and punched the wall.
My head shook with the impact.
HE touched his forehead with mine.
Please stay. Please stay. HE whispered.
I would make everything right - just stay please. HE's tears trickled down my face.
Your hands, let me look at it. I finally said.
I will be here for you like SHE is. I started after cleaning HE's hands.
But I cannot commit to the same relationship. Not anymore - not now. I continued.
And not with me. HE said.
I pursed my lips.
We had more than a good run and I don't want us to run into ruins so while we are good... I attempted to finish the sentence.
So while we're good, maghiwalay na lang tayo... HE continued.
I hugged HE tight.
Remember that night I found out about SHE. I started whispering in HE's ear. I clearly remember what you said: YOU and I - we'll be okay.
Separately - we'll be okay separately. HE whispered back.
I hugged him tighter.
Thank you for everything. I said and I kissed HE's hands.
I stood up - it was time to walk away.
I love HE and that'll never change.
And I know I will be there for HE when I need to be there - like a friend.
But for now, here's to moving forward.