He has been very patient with me through and through.
He does not question the unanswered "I love yous" nor does he pressure me to give one.
There is some stoicism with M on how he makes himself be "there" - always present for me.
He's always there doing them little stuff like helping with the laundry and buying the earliest pandesal and waiting for me to finish my class and holding my bag and test papers and my hand...
M has been my sanity.
-o0o-
Hindi mo pa ako mahal. Naramramdaman ko yun. M said
I was stunned.
It was the truth.
Tumitingin ka pa din sa ibang lalaki kapag nasa mall tayo. Alam ko din my tinetex ka pa ding iba. M continued.
Pinagdasal kita sa Baclaran. Hiniling ko na sana ito na 'to pero nahihirapan ako kasi ako mahal kita - ako hindi mo mahal. M was sobbing now.
Hindi ko talaga alam gagawin ko kung mawawala ka. M managed to continue.
I held his face on my palms.
Hindi ako mawawala. I started.
Pero hihilingin ko sayo na habaan mo pa pasensya mo sa akin. Hindi madaling magmahal at ayaw ko nang maramdaman yung sakit na gaya dati kasi hindi ko na kaya talaga. I continued.
M just nodded.
Kaya ko gustong umiinom tayo lagi kasi nasasabi ko 'to sayo lahat. M
Kaya pa ba? I asked
Yung alak o yung pagpapasensya? M answered
Yung sa alak, alam kong kaya mo pa. I said
Hindi ako bibitiw. Kahit na bumitiw ka. Saka pasensyoso talaga ako. M said.
I kissed him and in that moment I wanted to love him like what he deserves.
Sana hindi ka mahuli. Bihira lang ang kagaya niya.
ReplyDeletei wan to be fair JM.
Deletebut i'm trying very hard to deserve M.
Love is hard. good guy!!
ReplyDeleteIt is. He is.
Delete:)
i agree with JM.
ReplyDeletemas mahirap pag ikaw na ang naghahabol.
Oo gillboard - i should know.
Delete:
I know it isn't easy but I think it's also important to be fair. Maybe you can give a deadline to yourself and if by that time; you still don't feel the same way, maybe it's best to let him go.
ReplyDeleteAt sino ang ka text mong ibaaaaaa????? Ikaw haaaaaaaa
K
I feel something K for M, i really do - but not as strong as his. I am hoping in time I can match him.
DeleteNothing serious yung texts - mga umaaligid lang na pasts...
Thank you K.
:)
wow kaloy haba ng hair mo ah... hehehe...
ReplyDeleteHndi naman - konti lng.
Delete:)
Hay, I feel you. I know where you are coming from.
ReplyDeleteThey say every thing has an end, would you?
I don't want to think of the end for now Guyrony. Hehe.
DeleteAll this for a reason - i just need to realize what.
awww... pakiaalagaan po siya... :< hihi :D
ReplyDeletei will. :)
DeleteNatutuhan din ang magmahal...
ReplyDeleteoo - if i could take advance classes, i would.
Delete:)
Ang pagmamahal, natututunan yan, lalo na kung patuloy nyang pinapadama sa yo kung gano ka nya kamahal. Pero dapat may willingness din on your part na matutong magmahal at magtiwalang muli. Let go of the past, and let go of your old self and let this be what it could be: the best thing that you could ever have:)
ReplyDeleteSalamat Weng - i want to, i really do - but it'll take some more time...
DeleteThank you.
hi K!
ReplyDeletenaluha ako ng mga 3 drops sa left eye ko sa entry na to. hahaha.
JP Dee
hi JP!
Deletehehe - measured ang luha!
why not loosen up a bit...give the guy a chance...if he's as serious as he seems in your story, then maybem just maybe he's the answer to your prayers..
ReplyDeleteyou're one lucky biatch...me so jelly
but seriously..it's always hard but give it a special thought...
i am giving it a lot of special thought...
Deleteand yes, i will loosen up.
thank you!
I can feel you. Hirap talaga ibalik yung dati kapag natrauma ka na. But I can also say that it feels so good to finally let go. In the right time. Your time. 'Wag mo rin i-rush maging ready dahil sa pressure.
ReplyDeleteSalamat Blakrabit.
DeleteYes, yes - in the right time. And i';m hoping when that comes - it'll be greater than fireworks.
may friend ako, matagal niya bago na realize na mahal pala nya yung parang si M, kaso too late
ReplyDeleteI hope i will not be. :)
Delete