You fight your heart - you fight your mind.
And it drains you completely.
I will be lying if I said I know what should be done or what's best for ME.
What I do know is all these thoughts - all these feelings are killing the best of me.
Truth is, I'm scared that something like HE and ME will never happen again in my life.
That I feel that it was all my fault - why HE left - why HE looked for someone else.
And that I know that my heart will hurt again twice as much but I can handle it.
But I also know that trust will be absent.
What I need and what I want are analogous at this point.
So I'll just be still - stagnant.
And I'll trust that after all the rain, there will be clearer skies and I can look up again and get blinded by so much light that it illuminates me.
This song perfectly relays whatever it is I cannot say:
Man, it's been a long night
Just sitting here, trying not to look back
Still looking at the road we never drove on
And wondering if the one I chose was the right one
Oh, but I'm scared to death
That there may not be another one like this
And I confess that I'm only holding on by a thin thin thread
Here's to looking forward to basking in sunlight again.