The 2012 That Was...

So here's the summary of my attempts at life this year, in quotes:

JANUARY - Trying to move on...

• I'm a mess.
• You are going to be fine because you have a heart like mine. And our hearts - they may break a thousand times but they mend a thousand times too if that's what it takes. Mama

FEBRUARY - 07's advances...

• O7-000001 moved closer.

MARCH - New apartment...

• Mbaet aqoh sir bsta mbaet di kayowh skn... Bsta sir 1st tym ko kya sarapn nyo phowz a... Hehe. BJ

APRIL - Still trying to move-on...

• I'm not hurt but I couldn't let go just yet. (Mention - inspired poem by Eternal Wanderer)
• Salamat naman sa BB P. for the diversion.
• PS: I love musicals. I wish I could just cue to a song and dance number whenever it strikes me. Back-up dancers, singers, confetti and all...

MAY - Some much needed going-away and finally facing what happened...

• Buti pa si Mommy, may asenso.
• In BKK 
• Sh*t. Nothing hurts like being lied - to your face. 

JUNE - Blog turned play...

• I'm just glad something still comes up from all my mess here.

JULY - Trying out 07...

• But 07 is not HE. Plain and simple. I look at him and he's not...

AUGUST - Back with HE and paranoia with J...

• And ME always knew HE would be welcomed back - no questions... No pretensions...
• I think I'm keeping J. HE said
• But I know I can take more blows from HE - i'll let ME bruise and bleed 'till I'm numb...

SEPTEMBER - Still paranoid...

• You tell me you love me, on the same breath you tell me that you care for another man!

OCTOBER - Almost worked out again...

• I'm going to work hard to deserve you again. HE said suddenly
• But ME's praying harder that my doubts are wrong.
• But it is clear though - ME have two (2) options:

                   1. Get out! Leave and start anew.
                   2. Martyrdom.

• Look, don't make your own ghosts son. Mama added when ME did not reply. And those doubts - they're gonna eat you alive like parasites do. So save yourself the trouble and just think of the good things.  Mama

NOVEMBER - Endings...

• ME's making a mark on ME's territory so them b*tches better not step the line.
• Sure I might be acting from impulse and sure I will have regrets but I can deal with HE or J and whatever they become but me, it would be hard for me to deal with a Self that I don't like.
• I stood up - it was time to walk away.
• Pero kulang pa rin ako para sa'yo. Akala ko hindi na masakit - pero ang sakit sakit pa rin.

DECEMBER - Little bouts of happiness...

• Yeah, I guess there's not a right time to be happy - you just are sometimes.

-o0o-

I bet my year was as full as yours. Here's a little peek at my life outside this blog:

• Got promoted this year (on my full time job)
• One of the photos I took got published recently
• First time in Ilocos, Coron, CDO, Zamboanga, General Santos and Thailand this year
• And I'm back to teaching courses on my first love - Philosophy
• Gained two inches around the waist

-o0o-

Let me take this chance too to say THANK YOU to you. This blog and your (silent/vocal) comments have comforted ME during all the hullabaloos that happened...

Here's to our attempts at life!