When that dawned to me, i quit.
It was finals week, just a week more to go and i'm done for the sem...
But the rebel in me decided not to bother with the finals.
I didn't attend any of my scheduled exams.
Nada.
I figured what's the use?
HE is still not talking to me for it.
-o0o-
You see, i have this picture of me in an Armani skinny suit and an LV damier graphite bag going into a courtroom and kicking me some criminal ass...
But when I was actually in school, the image faded into just the suit and the bag...
I figured i can always wear the suit and the bag even if i were not a lawyer.
Ang babaw lang di ba?
Pero this is the honest-to-goodness truth: i, after two years worth of law units, is not after all, lawyer material...
-o0o-
Masyado ko sigurong na-brain wash yung sarili ko na the only way i could assert myself was when i am a lawyer...
Na my life would only be fabulous if i were a lawyer...
And that, it would be okay to be gay basta abogado ako...
Hindi pala.
I was miserable in school.
Its not the work needed to be done to prepare for class - wala akong problema sa subjects ko...
Its just that i don't have that passion anymore...
Siguro na-in love lang ako sa konsepto...
-o0o-
Now i have to start over...
Pero this time i won't prescribe myself an image...
I'll just see where the tides lead me to.
-o0o-
I know HE's supportive of this - nag-iinarte lang kasi hindi na naman siya na-consult...
Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na it was a personal decision pero i know sasampolan lang niya ako ng: Personal? May ganyanan na? When did each of us have something personal?
-o0o-
Here goes another attempt to live...
ako rin parang ayaw ko na ng kurso ko...at parang ayoko na rin magdoctor...
ReplyDeleteminsan nga naisip kong paglaki ko e magiging housewife(hihi) nalang ako...
pero napagalaman ko ngayung sembreak na nakakabaliw palang magkaroon ng buhay na kain-tulog lang :D
Ohhhh... that was very stupid. Or... very brave. Or... maybe both =)
ReplyDeleteYou must feel so relieved huh. Bon courage, Kaloy.
Kane
k [doc] exanthiel: ayan din rason ko kay HE - gusto lang maging plain housewife. hahahaha...
ReplyDeletenung freshman break ko, ganyan din sinabai ko sa sarili ko - "i'd rather do school than nothing" but it evolved to "i'd rather do something else than school"
there's just a void inside me that keeps resurfacing telling me that being a lawyer will not fill it...
goodluck on your med career. :)
k kane: yes, i felt stupid after - it was very unlikely for me to just unilaterally quit... i even surprised myself for it. :)... and YES too - i felt such a relief after, like suddenly, i can breathe... thanks kane.
ReplyDeleteMissed opportunities or better ones?
ReplyDeleteWherever the tide leads you...
k guyrony: your always trivial... hehehe... pero salamat - i just hope this time, the tides lead me to where i secretly long for...
ReplyDelete