Tuesday, March 29, 2011

NOT Lawyer-ish enough...

I am not becoming a lawyer.

When that dawned to me, i quit.

It was finals week, just a week more to go and i'm done for the sem...

But the rebel in me decided not to bother with the finals.

I didn't attend any of my scheduled exams.

Nada.

I figured what's the use?

HE is still not talking to me for it.

-o0o-

You see, i have this picture of me in an Armani skinny suit and an LV damier graphite bag going into a courtroom and kicking me some criminal ass...

But when I was actually in school, the image faded into just the suit and the bag...

I figured i can always wear the suit and the bag even if i were not a lawyer.

Ang babaw lang di ba?

Pero this is the honest-to-goodness truth: i, after two years worth of law units, is not after all, lawyer material...

-o0o-

Masyado ko sigurong na-brain wash yung sarili ko na the only way i could assert myself was when i am a lawyer...

Na my life would only be fabulous if i were a lawyer...

And that, it would be okay to be gay basta abogado ako...

Hindi pala.

I was miserable in school.

Its not the work needed to be done to prepare for class - wala akong problema sa subjects ko...

Its just that i don't have that passion anymore...

Siguro na-in love lang ako sa konsepto...

-o0o-

Now i have to start over...

Pero this time i won't prescribe myself an image...

I'll just see where the tides lead me to.

-o0o-

I know HE's supportive of this - nag-iinarte lang kasi hindi na naman siya na-consult...

Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na it was a personal decision pero i know sasampolan lang niya ako ng: Personal? May ganyanan na? When did each of us have something personal?

-o0o-

Here goes another attempt to live...


6 comments:

  1. ako rin parang ayaw ko na ng kurso ko...at parang ayoko na rin magdoctor...

    minsan nga naisip kong paglaki ko e magiging housewife(hihi) nalang ako...

    pero napagalaman ko ngayung sembreak na nakakabaliw palang magkaroon ng buhay na kain-tulog lang :D

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  2. Ohhhh... that was very stupid. Or... very brave. Or... maybe both =)

    You must feel so relieved huh. Bon courage, Kaloy.

    Kane

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  3. k [doc] exanthiel: ayan din rason ko kay HE - gusto lang maging plain housewife. hahahaha...

    nung freshman break ko, ganyan din sinabai ko sa sarili ko - "i'd rather do school than nothing" but it evolved to "i'd rather do something else than school"

    there's just a void inside me that keeps resurfacing telling me that being a lawyer will not fill it...

    goodluck on your med career. :)

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  4. k kane: yes, i felt stupid after - it was very unlikely for me to just unilaterally quit... i even surprised myself for it. :)... and YES too - i felt such a relief after, like suddenly, i can breathe... thanks kane.

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  5. Missed opportunities or better ones?

    Wherever the tide leads you...

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  6. k guyrony: your always trivial... hehehe... pero salamat - i just hope this time, the tides lead me to where i secretly long for...

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