Bakit masakit? It was HE.
My faced looked more confused than Paolo B's sexuality.
Masakit ang alin? I finally said.
Ang pwet mo after, eh ilang beses naman na natin ginagawa. Hihihihihi. HE
Gago! ME
Hindi, seriously, kapag tinatawag na bakla ang isang tao, bakit masakit? HE
Someone called you gay? ME
Wala naman, pero ikaw, I often see a pained expression when someone calls you that. HE
Like last Sunday at SM, habang bumubili tayo, yung bata... HE continued.
Like what I'm seeing now - in your face... HE added
I mean, bakit tayo, nagsasabihin din naman ng bakla, pero you don't react the way you do when others call you that... HE went on.
-o0o-
You see, HE can very well pass as a straight guy.
ME?
I'm a give-away specially when I start to talk.(Its only my mamma and my pappa that denies it. Hahahaha.)
-o0o-
Well, it has been like that since I was a kid. Painful kasi siguro after lahat ng pinatunayan ko sa sarili ko at sa mundo, I still get reduced to being bakla. I guess naman kasi its hard to see past that di ba? ME said finally
Yes, but... HE
But what? ME
Totoo naman di ba? Na bakla ka at bakla ako... HE
Pero? ME
Pero bakit masakit kahit totoo? HE
Indulge me my dear Socrates. ME (I call HIM Socrates when HE gets all Philosophical on ME)
Kung totoo naman na bakla tayo, bakit nasasaktan ka kung sinasabihan kang "bakla?" So is it not the case that we just affirm na being bakla is undesirable if we are pained by being called such? HE
I hate it when you make sense. Hehehehe. ME said.
Look, its not a question of the undesirability of being gay that I feel that is why I am pained by the term. It is more of a disappointment with the society that after what gay people have contributed we are reduced to ridicule by children nonetheless, blatantly calling out people bakla as if its okay to. I mean, I have faith in the society's ability to adapt to sexual and gender changes, but to see children act the way our generation acted before, makes me want to lose hope in the whole idea of social evolution. ME added.
Is it true? Very much. Is it painful? Yes. But faith my dear Socrates... Faith that it will be different when the twin's are where we are now. ME concluded.
So I guess its true then... HE
What is? ME
That TRUTH is painful. HE
PS. His conclusion was non sequitur, but I love him regardless...
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Look, its not a question of the undesirability of being gay that I feel that is why I am pained by the term. It is more of a disappointment with the society that after what gay people have contributed we are reduced to ridicule by children nonetheless, blatantly calling out people bakla as if its okay to. I mean, I have faith in the society's ability to adapt to sexual and gender changes, but to see children act the way our generation acted before, makes me want to lose hope in the whole idea of social evolution.
ReplyDeletesinabi mo talaga yan in one breath?
hangtaray!
lolz
UU - there are a lot of things i can do in one breath... Hahahaha. Paraphrased na yan - medyo chinannel ko na din si Miraim Defensor para may taray factor. Hehehehe. :)
ReplyDeleteHave you heard a batang kanto shout at a burly neighborhood thug, "Lalaki!" NO. If some kid calls you "Bakla" that was being disrespectful as you are being reduced to just your sexuality. Your sexuality is not just your essence as a person as you are also a loving person, a socio-active tax-paying citizen, a fashion-conscious individual and a smart writer to boot (i'm filling the blanks here). But you get my point right? And if I may add, what the kid actually did was to point out to you how different you are from him. He is from the straight society and you from the Bakla society. In effect he is saying how very different you are from him. But of course, we have to maintain our dignity in that situation either by telling the kid or his parents that name calling is not right. Or we can just let it slide and let them think it is just ok for them to shout at us and it is ok for us to be hated and ridiculed. Sorry po. Nanginig ako sa galit eh. Pag nakita ko yang batang yan papalapa ko yan sa aso ko. Pero ibang usapan if the kid calls you ATE. hehehe!
ReplyDeleteKaloy,
ReplyDeleteWhenever we speak, there's always the text and the subtext.
The text refers to the literal translation of what we are saying; the subtext contains all the layers and meanings of what we say.
I guess what Kryptonite User was right. It wasn't because the kid called you gay, but because it was all the meanings and connotations linked to the word bakla.
But then, we can also choose what can hurt us or not. You don't need society's approval. You've got someone who loves you exactly the way you are; straightacting or not.
;)
Kane
oi. post na ulit!!! heheh
ReplyDeletek kryptonite: easy there... :). yes, i understand perfectly, i think... its not the kid's fault... and i guess being different is not so bad - we just have to strive further to make people see that... so yes, next time, we shall give the parent a word or two on name calling - or at least HE will (i'm not the confrontational type. hihihi)...
ReplyDeletePS: Waw, i didn't expect it would stir something up in you... :)
k kane: ah yes - i guess what gay people are experiencing is more of an illusive tolerance than approval... and inasmuch as kryptonite is right, you are too - we can choose not to hurt. :)
k crashandburn: soon... finishing up my final exams first. hehehe. thanks you for your anticipation. :)
Sorry kaloy ha? These past few weeks i've been sort of on a war freak mode. (Yeah I should blog one of these days.) I think i should cut back on my caffeine intake. ; ) But admittedly, yes, I may have over reacted but it's not pointed at you. My deepest apologies if I gave that impression. Your blogs are the few that i follow faithfully.
ReplyDeletek kryptonite: no apologies needed and no, you did not over react. :). i tend to have positive fits and outbursts too esp. when i'm really passionate on an opinion or when i don't get any "action" with HE - hahaha... and yes, you should write again, your last entry was June! and yes on the caffeine regulation also... and your being too kind again with your words... hehe. thank you.
ReplyDelete