Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Dear M...

I lied...

When I told you I don't like getting flowers - I do, kahit perinwinkle, papatusin ko.

When I told you chocolates are for kids - chocnut, I would die for chocnut!

When I told you I don't like movie dates - I sneak to cinemas on weekdays when we're not together.

When I tell you I got the bill for us - I would anticipate for you to share it.

When I told you I never liked Valentines - I was hoping for you to surprise me with a rose or a Toblerone or anything!

When I told you I was  a home buddy so let's just stay home during the weekends - I am really aching for an adventure out-of-town.

When I said I don't celebrate monthsaries or anniversaries - I really don't but I would love to start celebrating.

When I told you I don't expect anything of you and what's important is that you're there for me - I do! I do expect a lot!

I want you to break my rules - show me that I deserve to get the cheesy stuff and conform to the norms of a hetero- relationship even if we're not.

I want you to engage my friends in conversations on capitalism, class intersectionality and Wicked!

I want to feel like I'm not the only one initiating things (save for the s*x that you can't get enough of).

I lied to you when I said I want it simple - I don't.

I want the whirlwind crazy addicting kind of love.

I want more and you don't know how bad that makes me feel - that I'm not contented when I should.

I feel like a villain - never satisfied with just "good." I blame my education for it.

You, by far, has been so good to me but I am hoping it would get better.

Please make it better.

Because now, I think I might have lied too when I said I love you...


  1. And I honestly think he's not the one at fault here so give him the chance and start being honest.

    Rooting for M.

    1. I couldn't - I kept it all to myself because I know M would just feel worse about the state of things. And I couldn't keep on spending for the both of us. Hehe.

      But I am rooting for M to. I just really needed to let all that out of my system.

  2. asan na yan si M... kakausapin ko... :)

    1. Nasa trabaho po siya kuya. Ahihihihi.

  3. In the matters of the heart, I have learned not to compromise.

    1. What other option is left? :)

    2. Wait and see, and at the same time, prepare him. You might need to let him go. Gaya ng sinabi ko, nanggaling na ako sa iyong sitwasyon.


  4. He might get used to it Sir. Sad part is that he might think that everything's okay. But it isn't enough for you.

    1. I want to strike a balance somewhere - I really do - and reach something that would be enough...