Friday, March 1, 2013

At the Losing End...

*This is an extract from my conversations with Dok. Dok has been a long-time friend but its only quite recently again that we have had the chances to talk about our lives in general.

-o0o-

Love, like most sport, is a game. And in any game someone always takes the first place and the second. And in cases where there's a tie or a draw - a rematch must be had.

Here's how'd you know if you're at the loosing end:

1. You wake up ahead of his "good morning" texts. And you get paranoid when its 8 AM already and no text still. Not too mention, you over-analyze when that text arrives at 7 AM instead of the usual 6 AM.

2. You have the last text in a conversation.

3. He doesn't throw your questions back.

4. You try to make a conversation just out of an "okay" reply.

5. Your gifts are well-thought of. His' however, even have the price tag on and the dedication card is not even signed.

6. You believe everything he says:

                       "Oh, ang bilis nmn maubos ng lube mo" ME

                       "Konti lang naman talaga laman niyan" Him

7. You backtrack your conversation because suddenly he fails to call you "mahal ko" or "kaloy ko" or "mahal kong kaloy." Sa isip mo, ikaw yung may maling nagawa lagi.

Now that you know - would you still fight for it? Would you fight a battle that you'd know you'd lose?

I know I am.

Like I know I'll always be at the losing end.

Pity party galore!

LOL!

And here's the perfect song to cap it off:


     So don't say you're sorry
    You've only this much love to give
    You see, however much love's enough for me



-o0o-

PS: Gawd! I'm still ranting about same old problems, same old insecurities and the same old paranoia. When will this end? Kalowka!

14 comments:

  1. Same experience here. But it is good to reflect on the different situations where we can learn something and say "how foolish, i am". Actually, there are signs but we rationalize too for the sake of our hearts or are we just content of believing because it is easier that to be hurt more. I still believe that love is really the most surprising, baffling and misunderstood of all our experiences...which we continuously search.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We are fools and we continue despite knowing we are... Sarap=sarap kasing magmahal... Hehehe.

      Thank you.

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Ahahahaha - and we are suckers for them b*tches...

      ;)

      Delete
  3. Halata ko din yan sa mga nakakausap ko online, yun na yun signals na i have to erase his number haha para kasing napipilitan nalang siya.

    Pero thats just me. One time marerealize mo din yan, na maybe its time to let go. In time...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sana dumating na yang "one time" na yan sir Mac... Hehehe.

      :)

      Delete
  4. ika nga ni nina...

    'Cause someday, someone's gonna love me
    The way I wanted you to need me
    Someday, someone's gonna take your place
    One day, I'll forget about you
    You'll see, I won't even miss you
    Someday, someday

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Si Nina talaga - madaming alam masyado... Hihihihi.

      Yeah - someday...

      :)

      Delete
  5. saksak puso ulit?! drop the other 'O' on your title. - dok.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dok, the extra 'O' is a tribute to them 'unsightly creases and folds' - kaya loosing ganyan. LOL!

      OO - saksak puso talga with matching lighting it on fire.

      :)

      Delete
  6. You think I should stop?

    One year.... One fucking year of courtship and what do I get?

    puzzles, riddles... am not even sure if he also likes me. Argh!

    Nakakainis ka Kaloy! di ko na nga iniisip e tas mag po-post ka ng ganito. Hahaha!

    Shet ka pinapaiyak mo ko.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your the only one who can answer that question Russ.

      :)

      Delete
  7. let it hurt and let it hurt for a long time.
    let it hurt as much as it can hurt.. and after
    you let it hurt.... one day it will not
    hurt anymore.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oo - sabi ko nga lagi, embrace the pain. Then after, trust that it will pass - fade...

      You'll be okay - ikaw pa!

      :)

      Delete