No, I am not an expert.
But I think I might have found a formula (or process) to finding an easy-breezy relationship and its no secret.
1. The other guy must love you more
2. Learn to love the other guy - maybe not in the same intensity, but love nonetheless
You know very well where I'm coming from.
Love before M was altruistic and natural - it was not made or influenced - it just is. You love a person for no reason - you just love out of nowhere.
After M, I found that the better kinds of love are those that are learnt and nourished. For the first months with M, I thought he was just a guy that was a necessary intervention for me to move forward from He.
M was there for Me even if he does not know about He or what happened with He, M was there - he did not ask or attempted to intrude - he just made himself "there."
I was out for a week, I went from east to west coast (Pinas ha, not US) and had the chance to sleep only during travel time.
When I arrived, M was waiting. He got hold of my bags, prepared the bed and my clothes to sleep on. I slept early that night with a goal of waking up early the next day to fix my things.
And so I woke up with M's embrace. I kissed him softly on the lips and got up - M stayed in bed.
I went to the bathroom - the toiletries I brought for my travel were there, organized the way I would have organized it.
I stepped out of the bathroom, M was still in bed, and searched for my bag. It was in the closet, neatly tucked.
I looked at my hamper, it was empty - my guess is the clothes are hanging dry already. I went outside and there they were, my soiled clothes washed and swaying happily under the sun.
I stepped in, M was up, making coffee already. I stopped and looked at him.
He was wearing my boxers and an old college shirt. He yawned like it was the last thing he would do and scratched his head.
Saan ka galing? M finally noticed me and asked.
I smiled and did not answer his question. I moved forward instead and embraced him from the back.
Salamat. I whispered.
He turned around, placed his hands on my hips and kissed me.
I started tearing up. These little things he does - makes me believe in love again.
Mahal kita M. I said looking at him.
M was looking at me - he was surprised.
And then he smiled.
Basta ako ang naunang nagsabi niyan a - huwag mong kalimutan. M joked.
And we just stayed in that embrace for what seems like forever - for what I hope would be forever.
Here's to learning love!