On Violence and Gender Perceptions...

I have been busy with my own studies for the past months. It was a liberating experience - so much more than what I expected to be just a distraction from HE and the whole mess that is my life.

I was shown THIS post first before THIS post. This is how I answered:

Situation	Hetero	Homo	Justification
Orgy	Violence	Not	Gays are promiscuous, thus any kind of agreeing to an orgy suspends rights of preferences. How is this different from a woman? Just my bias that in a woman’s case, any kind of forced/unwanted sexual advance is rape or harassment – no matter how promiscuous the woman is.
1-Night Stand	Violence	Violence	I strongly feel that any kind of verbal slaughter (whether meant or not) that diminishes a person is a form of violence.
Partners/Married Couple	Violence	Not	Hetero-adultery is against the law thus, a form of violence.  Meanwhile, Homo-unfaithfulness is the norm.

Just for context, by "violence" we mean physical, verbal or psychological abuse. And by "abuse" we mean undue restriction of freedom.

From my answers, obviously, I have double standards. While I find all circumstances as violent for the Hetero, I have become selective with the Homo. I have varied reasons for this - I could not really point one life-factor but yeah, I discriminate.

Point is, the circumstances are all forms of violence. Let us not think that gender has anything to do with it (like what Gillboard have commented) - its social constructions based on heteronormativity that have to be challenged.

So fight!

Here's to challenging them norms!

On VAG (2)...

I urge that you read the FIRST post first (how redundant). :)

-o0o-

CASE 1

In a group orgy of about 3 men and 2 women, 1 (Man) was eyeing 2 (Woman).

And in any group orgy of about 5, there is always an odd-member-out - that's 5 (Man).

3 (Man) & 4 (Woman) started getting it on.

2 (Woman) went down on 1 (Man).

1 (Man) was about to cum when 2 (Woman) went in for a kiss and 5 (Man) went in behind 2 (Woman) and started humping her from behind.

2 (Woman) had no desire for 5 (Man) and in fact have denied him access to him the whole orgy time (up until that time).

Preferences - that was a clear rule in the orgy. No one forces himself to anyone - whether to give or to receive.

But like the same situations before: andiyan na, lalabasan na naman siya at nagpaubuya ka na lang kahit hindi mo gusto.

-o0o-

CASE 2

1 (Man) & 2 (Woman) are office mates.

2 (Woman) obviously like 1 (Man).

On a drunken birthday night, 1 (Man) and 2 (Woman) found themselves lying next to each other.

2 (Woman) searched for 1's (Man's) member, 1 (Man) willingly obliged.

They had one intense f*ck-session.

Only 1 (Man) came.

"Ang dumi mo p*tang ina mo - ginamit mo pa ako." 1 suddenly said after dressing up. "Puta ka din e - papatulan kahit sino." 1 (Man) continued.

2 (Woman) enjoyed every bit of the moment and she feels like what 1 (Man) just said it to emancipate himself from the act that just happened as he had a girlfriend.

-o0o-

CASE 3

1 (Man) & 2 (Woman) are married.

They would have been married for five years this year.

1 (Man) has always been promiscuous - having affairs every now and then.

2 (Woman) tolerated it - she made herself to think that she was not enough and that it was "normal" to have affairs in any relationships.

2 (Woman) was always conscious that she looks good for 1 (Man), that she took care of 1 (Man) , that 1 (Man) should always have the upper hand in everything.

And when times came that 1 (Man) wanted to live with someone else, 2 (Woman) would not object and would wait until 1 (Man) decides to come back to her.

-o0o-

Question: Which of the three cases would fall under Violence Against Women (VAW)? Did you have different answers on the first post? If yes, why'd you think so?

-o0o-

Note: I know this feels like a survey (its really not) but I would love  to have a little validation (or opposition) of what I have answered myself  and just to see our reflections on our conception of abuses.

Shout out to JM, Geosef, Gillboard and FiftyShadesOfQueer for your comments on the first post.