A Relationship with TWO Fathers

HE, ME and the twins did an early Father's Day last Sunday.

We watched Kung Fu Panda 2.

It was a riot - I laughed harder and louder than the twins did (especially on that dragon/caterpillar bit).

It was the first outing we had - the four of us.

Remember this The BIRTHDAY Clause... ? Well this includes all other Holidays that involves the customary in-laws participation.

So they're doing Father's Day on Sunday together with the in-laws so we did it in advance.

I put on my tito hat for the twins. They're just adorable - my hands are up for SHE for doing a great job with them. Polite and really witty - alam nilang makisama.

-o0o-

WE have the twins for Sunday. HE

Bakit? ME


A little excitement won't hurt. HE

Che! You know what I mean. ME

Advance Happy Father's Day natin. HE

NATIN, I like how that sound. ME

And SHE's doing it with Chris and the his kid too. HE

Wow - so its serious with Chris? ME

Everything's serious when it comes to SHE naman. HE

I pretended not to hear.

So what do we do on Sunday? ME

Movie - the twins want to see the panda movie. HE

Its Kung Fu Panda. You liked the first one kaya - you were laughing when we watched it here sa bahay. ME

You know me and my memory... HE giggling.

Che. Movie then it is. ME saying a lot of 'ches' lately.

-o0o-

And oh, on the second Father, my Dad's been with the babae since last month and not of his choosing.

My Mama's done with him and she looks great!

I love my dad - he is what he is. But we all have to move on and if he doesn't see our value as a family then he can look for his own values instead.

He'll always be our dad - that's clear.

-o0o-

Last month,my dad's older brother charged to our house and said bad things about my ate.

She accused her of spending the money he gave our dad in her wedding. That ticked my Mama off since all the expenses were paid for by my kuya - the before-groom.

And three points:

1. If he gave the money to my dad already, what does he care on the use of it? It was given right?
2. Its not like we're random people - for Christ's sake, pamangkin niya kami! Eh ano naman kung gamitin namin yung pera?
3. The money was, for all we know, gambled-away by my dad already.


My sister was distressed because of the event and she's pregnant. So we decided, we're through - we can't keep on being our dad's excuse to his brother or his life. We hope we can be the reason for his life but not an excuse.

And with our tito, come to think of it, he never really gave anything to us - it was always for my dad. And we appreciate the fact that he looks out for our dad and cares for him. I just hope he dies before my dad because if my dad dies first, no one will bury my tito. Ang sama ng iniisip ko pero I can't help it.


Hindi ako nalulungkot, nasasayangan lang ako kasi in the eyes of my dad's clan - we are his achievements. Now what does he have? A mistress half his age with an illegitimate kid? An older brother that sustains him? A job he is miserably failing at? Gusto kong maawa pero ginusto niya e. He should fight for us and genuinely change - we can't cover-up for him every time and put on a happy family portrait. As my ate said, nakakapagod na palang magpanggap. 


I just needed to say that.

Cheesy...

Last Sunday, I was watching HE cook sopas...

Out of nowhere I blurted - I Love You.

HE heard it.

HE then asked me why I love him...

I told him 'just because you're you...'

HE smiled.

And when HE smiles, its like that Indian head bobble that doesn't really give you a definitive YES or NO but an 'Im-Not-Sure-How-To-React-On-Your-Answer' vibe...

So I came up with a list on why I love HIM.

Here goes...

Wait, if you're not into the cheesy stuff, just click the X button - you know where it is.

So, here goes...

And apologies for posting something that's valentines-ish in June.

So, again, here goes:

I Love YOU...

Because you make me sing
Because you pretend to like my singing
Because you kiss ME on the lips in the morning (kahit wala pang toothbrush)
Because you cook the best rice cooker-cooked sopas in the world
Because you hand wash my underwear when you do yours (which I never do)
Because your korny and its funny that your korny
Because you say NO to my face when you don't want something (except my singing)
Because you know when not to argue with me
Because you get my moods
Because your a great father to the twins
Because you never spoke ill of SHE
Because you make me eat ampalya and okra (ang konyo - tae)
Because you don't snore
Because you know not to disturb me when i'm reading
Because i'm not shy to watch porn around you

Yun.

So far that's my list for the week (and its only Monday - hahahaha).

And i'm keeping my list and will update it when HE does something that makes ME love HE more...

And perhaps, when things are not so good with US, i'll just reread the list and be reminded that more than the disagreements and certain incompatibilities - there are a lot more to love about HIM...

Sarap magmahal.

*Wink

3 Idiots and then some...

Most of us went to college just for a degree. No degree meant no plum job, no pretty wife, no credit card, no social status. But none of this mattered to him, he was in college for the joy of learning, he never cared if he was first or last.  -Farhan Qureshi

-o0o-

After the movie, ME thought: When was the last time I did something for the sheer reason of having passion to do it? No care for the results... No care for what the conventions are... No care for rules...

I don't remember. I candidly don't. What a shame.

-o0o-

GO WATCH THE FILM! 

3's more than a Crowd...

You can accomplish a lot during s*x - this is have come to master with HE.

HE, more than he's willing to admit, is very much gullible and persuade-able during s*x - HE says "YES" to everything.

So since HE's in one of those tampo modes of his during the last two-weeks, ME decided to have an all-sex-weekday (pahinga kami sa weekend... hehehe).

Plan is to ask forgiveness for not consulting HIM on quiting school while HE's about to cum...

ME is much confident in getting an "I-forgive-you-now-get-back-to-what-you-were-doing" answer from HE...

-o0o-

Remember the book i was writing about?

Well  it had a section where a partner, to induce the other partner to the idea of a threesome, asks the other partner [while in foreplay] what he would make another person do (preferably a fantasy figure - pero dapat hindi atista, yung kilala niyong dalawa) if such fantasy figure was there in bed...

A 3some is not new to HE and ME (Blush) but the idea of fantasy play is something new.

-o0o-

I climbed to bed and positioned myself on HIS lap.

HE put down the book he was reading and smirked.

I placed my hands behind my head and gyrated my hips (HE loves it when ME attempts to mimic lap dancing)

HE placed his hands on MY hips to urge ME.

I leaned over to lick HIS lips.

Hmmmmm... HE moaned as HE placed his hands inside my boxers and gave my butt a squeeze.

Let's play. ME

What do you have in mind? HE

I smiled.

Say aside from ME, someone else was here. Pretend that I'm that someone (TS) else - what would you have me do? ME whispered.

Hmmmm... HE moaned.

TS will be licking my ears while you play with my sh*ft. HE

ME proceeded to lick his ears.

Then TS will rim my lips.. Hmmmm... HE

And you'll proceed to lick my neck... HE

ME liking this... What more? I whispered in between rimming his lips and kissing his neck...

Then i'll tongue-f*ck her p*ssy while i finger-f*ck your ass... HE trying to be husky-voiced

P*T*NG *N*! Sabi ko sa isip ko

WHAT?! Ang nasambit ko.

Don't ruin it... just play along... HE trying to reach my ass again...

NO! You want to do a three-way with a girl? ME with an almost-frantic-like-kris-aquino reaction

You started it... HE

NO I didn't! Was there anywhere I mentioned b**b**s and p*ss**s? ME

Hindi yun, ikaw naman ang nag-start ng fantasy-fantasy na yan... HE

And you actually want do it with a girl at ako? ME

With SHE and YOU... HE

I turned pale - ME and my great ideas...

NOT Lawyer-ish enough...

I am not becoming a lawyer.

When that dawned to me, i quit.

It was finals week, just a week more to go and i'm done for the sem...

But the rebel in me decided not to bother with the finals.

I didn't attend any of my scheduled exams.

Nada.

I figured what's the use?

HE is still not talking to me for it.

-o0o-

You see, i have this picture of me in an Armani skinny suit and an LV damier graphite bag going into a courtroom and kicking me some criminal ass...

But when I was actually in school, the image faded into just the suit and the bag...

I figured i can always wear the suit and the bag even if i were not a lawyer.

Ang babaw lang di ba?

Pero this is the honest-to-goodness truth: i, after two years worth of law units, is not after all, lawyer material...

-o0o-

Masyado ko sigurong na-brain wash yung sarili ko na the only way i could assert myself was when i am a lawyer...

Na my life would only be fabulous if i were a lawyer...

And that, it would be okay to be gay basta abogado ako...

Hindi pala.

I was miserable in school.

Its not the work needed to be done to prepare for class - wala akong problema sa subjects ko...

Its just that i don't have that passion anymore...

Siguro na-in love lang ako sa konsepto...

-o0o-

Now i have to start over...

Pero this time i won't prescribe myself an image...

I'll just see where the tides lead me to.

-o0o-

I know HE's supportive of this - nag-iinarte lang kasi hindi na naman siya na-consult...

Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na it was a personal decision pero i know sasampolan lang niya ako ng: Personal? May ganyanan na? When did each of us have something personal?

-o0o-

Here goes another attempt to live...

An Introduction to a S*xually Free Marriage...

I was in Cubao Expo last night and found a book.

The Complete Handbook for A Sexually Free Marriage
by John and Mimi Lobell


What? Seryoso NO S*X?! sabi ko sa isip nung una. But having gone through the table of contents and the first chapters, HO MAY GAWD! na lang nasambit ko.

Simple lang ang sinasabi ng libro: It's okay to have sex outside your marriage so long as there is a need and that you and your spouse have talked and agreed on it.

Here are some of the excerpts.

Of course, there are many ways to have a happy marriage. Far too often, though, sexual monogamy is assumed to be an inviolable prerequisite. It isn't... In fact, sexual monogamy can become a fetishistic bondage, a modern-day chastity belt that prevents partners in a marriage from being friends with each other and from developing as individuals. Illicit sex is the traditional way out of such marriages: secret affairs, furtive lunch hours in hotels, lying about working late, and so on.


Sex was to be done in the dark... Anything else was prurient, hedonistic, depraved, satanic lust! The idea that a person can and should limit his or her sexual expression to one other partner for an entire lifetime will soon seem equally ridiculous.


People have always had sex outside of marriage. Adultery has been around for as long as marriage. The differences we are proposing are that (1) there is nothing wrong with it, and (2) in a loving and workable marriage between equals, the spouses can also be honest with each other about it.


And oh, the book was published 1975.

And oh-oh, the authors are married with no children.

PS. Not done with the book but i find it very provocative. Hehehe.

Going Bulilit...

Where do you want us to go? HE

Ano? ME

Saan mo tayo gusto pumunta? Tinagalog na NYA - masama na ito.

Can we just be where we are? ME

No, HE and ME were not talking about where to eat.

-o0o-

ME was attempting to cook adobo and HE was attempting to peel potatoes.

Naalala mo si Manang Minda? HE washing the potatoes

Hindi. Bakit? ME sauteing garlic and pork

Siya yung binilhan natin ng brownies nung pasko. HE now peeling

Ah - yung maintainance nyo? ME pouring toyo and suka

Oo, yung may walong anak. HE still peeling

O bakit si Manang? ME putting the lid on the casserole

Buntis na naman kasi. HE

Ah - puwes alam ko na regalo natin sa kanya next Christmas! ME

Condom? HE now slicing the potatoes

Hindi. TV para may iba silang libanagan. Hehehe. ME putting whole pepper seeds into the pot.

Sanadali, ME again, eh ano naman ngayon kung buntis? Ikaw ba nakabuntis?


Gago. Hindi. HE

Ano nga? ME

Binibigay nya yung magiging anak nya sa atin. HE

I tuned the stove off. I was stunned.

Ano yun? Tuta lang? ME

Hindi, syempre tinanong nya ako. Kaysa daw sa ampunan, at least kung ibibigay nya sa kilala niya, mas mapapanatag daw sya. HE - casual lang siya parang nag-uusap lng kami ng grocery list

Ano sabi mo? ME

Sabi ko salamat dahil kinonsider nya akong mabuting ama. Tapos sabi ko pag-iisipan pa - tatlong buwan pa lang naman siya. HE

Ano sabi ni SHE? ME

Hindi ko pa sinabi kay SHE, sayo ko sana gustong i-open yung possibility. HE

Sa aso nga ayaw ko, sa bata pa kaya? ME

Iba naman yung aso. HE

Talagang iba. Just think, a child - a real child sa bahay natin. How will we raise a child sa set-up na ito? Lalaki lang yung batang sobrang deconstructed ang tignin sa pamilya. ME

Isn't that a good thing? HE

No, its not. Its hard enough as it is to be gay. But to grow-up with gay parents? It's not me I'm worried about, its the kid. I wouldn't want him or her to go through an even greater pain than what i've gone thru. ME all fired up

Wala lang, I just thought we could have a chance at a family. HE

My heart broke. Tatanga-tanga din kasi ako kung minsan talaga and 'insensitive' would be a kind word to use. I have, in front of me, a man who actually wants to have a family with me (kids and all) and look at what i'm doing?

Hey, YOU are my family. ME lifting his chin towards me. I'm not promising to reconsider but right now is not the best time or will the next six months be.You know i'm back in school and i'm failing 80% of my subjects already so i don't exactly have the greatest confidence right now for anything - more for rearing a child. ME

Where do you want us to go? HE

...

-o0o-

Ang saya siguro - may bulilit kami ni HE na kahit hindi galing sa aming dalawa ay sigurado namang mamahalin namin ng parang amin siya.

I admit, the thought excites me. But more than the excitement, is fear - HE and ME can very well provide para sa bulilit and we might even have extra. Kung care at love din lang of a family, we can provide the minimum. But then, we cannot protect the bulilit forever, eventually, lalabas yan sa pugad at pag nakita nya ang mundo, magtatanong na yan. Ano sasabihin namin pag naghanap ng nanay? Kapag nalaman nyang bakla kami? Kung lalaki siya - baka maging bakla din siya (not that i'm against it - bongga pag ganun!- pero you know what i mean, i would feel an ounce of guilt for pushing him to be gay)...

Gusto kong isipin na yung pagmamahal namin ni HE para sa bulilit ay magiging sapat para maging ok siya. pero hindi e - alam kong hindi. At oo, yung fears that i'm feeling are more for ME than for the bulilit. Takot ako. Takot ako to be completely responsible for a life.

There's a lot of stuff i think i can't do but when i actually have the courage to do, I do it well.

This is not one of those things.