Sad...

It's the internal struggle that's the hardest.

You fight your heart - you fight your mind.

And it drains you completely.

I will be lying if I said I know what should be done or what's best for ME.

What I do know is all these thoughts - all these feelings are killing the best of me.

Truth is, I'm scared that something like HE and ME will never happen again in my life.

That I feel that it was all my fault - why HE left - why HE looked for someone else.

And that I know that my heart will hurt again twice as much but I can handle it.

But I also know that trust will be absent.

What I need and what I want are analogous at this point.

So I'll just be still - stagnant.

And I'll trust that after all the rain, there will be clearer skies and I can look up again and get blinded by so much light that it illuminates me.

This song perfectly relays whatever it is I cannot say:

Man, it's been a long night

Just sitting here, trying not to look back

Still looking at the road we never drove on

And wondering if the one I chose was the right one

Oh, but I'm scared to death

That there may not be another one like this

And I confess that I'm only holding on by a thin thin thread

Here's to looking forward to basking in sunlight again.