How did it happen?
How did we come do this?
Madalas ayaw ko na lang isispin kasi wala din ako maisip na isagot.
Kung tatanungin ako kung masaya ako - well, we do have our moments together.
Hindi din naman natin ma-ikakala na sa lahat ng relasyon, hindi naman puro saya lang.
If we are going to weigh things, more often than not, mas marami siguro yung arguments... yung tampuhan... yung di pagkakaintindihan...
Pero look, we're still us - trying so hard to work things out.
Iniisip ko na lang minsan na the good times offset the bad ones in a ratio of 1:5.
Hehehehe.
-o0o-
I woke up with you gone one morning.
I have to get use to this from now on, I thought.
I know I'm supposed to be secondary and my demands are too.
What I would have done to wake up to you every morning - the thought lingered.
I scavenged for my underwear - I couldn't find it.
So on to my drawers to pull out a pair, and there it was, half of the drawer space was filled with your boxers.
Reality set in, I have allowed you IN - in more ways than one, you are now part of me...
-o0o-
"I don't wear underwear" He
I was about to offer you a pair of mine as your boxers was used to uhmmm... uhmmm... Well it was used - period.
But you didn't want to.
The next thing I knew, you were washing your boxers on the lavatory.
"Next time you come over, bring extra clothes and undies na rin so you don't always have to wear mine - not that I mind pero maarte ka kasi sa mga bagay-bagay." ME
"Buti alam mo.." HE with a grin painted on his face.
-o0o-
"Where are we going?" ME
"Rob, my bibilhin lang ako" HE
First stop was the supermarket.
HE started, "Now, listen and take notes -"
"I use double blade, manual - ayaw ko kung 'tematic, I always get the feeling na anytime, hihigupin ako ng razor. Colgate Total - pag ibang toothpaste naduduwal ako. Bioderm - high school pa lang ako, sabon ko na 'to, its more of the history that I share with the soap more than anything - naging saksi 'tong sabon na 'to sa pagtubo ng mga buhok sa kilikili at kwan ko - hehe..."
"You're enjoying this aren't you." It was ME
"Syempre naman... Saka po kung maglalagi ako sa'yo, you should at least know my preference, sabi ko nga sa'yo nung una pa - all cards on the table dapat." HE
"So, balak mong 'maglagi' sa akin?" ME
HE looked left, then right and then me... And then he planted a kiss on my lips.
"Hope that answers that --" HE
Perfectly, I thought.
"Razor, Toothpaste, Soap and Boxers - dun lang ako particular. All else, cowboy na ako dun." HE
"Good." ME
"O, your turn." HE
"You'll find out - so ano, frozen meat na tayo for your bacon?" ME
"Hahahahahaha - yes please." HE
-o0o-
I put my undies on. And headed for coffee.
"Morning. Coffee's brewing, bacon's on the way and where's my kiss?" HE
I gave him a peck on the cheek.
"Good morning." ME
This, this is why I hold on. I thought.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
The BIRTHDAY Clause...
"I'l call you when I can - " It was He who texted.
I didn't reply.
I didn't know what to reply.
Hindi ko alam kung pagmumurahin ko ba yung gago o ignore ko na lang and move on to the next wrong guy...
But I kept on thinking how casual it was for She and He. She didn't have a bit of surprise or anger in her voice when I picked her call - she was monotone to say the least. And He acted like it was just another day in the office. And I - I was just plain LOST. At that moment, I wished I knew what was going on in their heads. Super Twilight Zone moment ko yun.
Alam mo yung feeling ng white plastic bag na nasa kalye na palutang-lutang lang dahil sa buga ng mga usok ng tricycle? Yung parang sa American Beauty. Parang ganun yung nararamdamn ko nun - I was floating in nothingness.
THREE days after -
He calling...
Rejected.
He calling...
Rejected.
He calling...
Silence.
"Hey - kamusta?" It was He who spoke first.
"You at work?" It was He again...
"Yup." It was me - finally.
Naisip ko, kung kaswal lang sa kanya - eh dapat, kaswal din lng sa akin. I'm going to play his game and I won't be left to lose this time... Or so I thought.
"Daanan kita mga 7, kain tayo." He
"Won't be out til 9 later." I
"Hintayin kita." He
"Ikaw bahala." I
"Okay. See you mamaya. Bye." He
What the ef* am I getting myself into? Jusko! Lord have mercy! Those were the first thoughts that entered my mind the moment I put my phone down. Wala na naman kasiguraduhan 'tong gagawin ko - at alam na alam kong sa bandang huli ako pa rin ang talo. Ang pangit ng outlook ko sa pakikipagrelasyon kung tutuusin - kasi para sa akin laro ito na may nananalo at natatalo. At sawa na akong matalo.
It was 9 - He was there finishing a bottle of 7 Up.
"Bahay mo na lang tayo - namalengke na ako" He
"Nagpaalam ka ba?" I
"Maya na yang issues mo Kuya Boy - luto muna tayo saka kain" He
He bought a pack of Bacon, a kilo of Rice, cream soup and a litro of orange Tang.
Halfway into the orange Tang...
"I'm married for four years now and I have twins." He started in the most casual manner. "And my marriage with She was more for convenience than anything - i got her pregnant at sa mata ng mga magulang namin, dapat may kasalan. Don't get us wrong..." He was now speaking for She also. "We respect the sanctity of marriage that's why we're still living together as a family. Pero alam din namin magpakatotoo sa mga sarili namin. I love my twins and She - pero selfish din ako. Alam kong may hinahanap pa ako..."
Silence.
"And if there's one agreement that we are religious about - its Birthdays. Mine, She's and the Twin's birthdays are for the family. Korny I know, but its the one condition She asks of Me and I have had no problem with it -- so far. My sabit ako - that's the hard fact - and I've laid it on the table - you do to it what you wish." He finished.
I drank what was left of the Tang litro as if it were my last and then...
"So... you like bacon?" I said.
He grinned and all my defenses fell down.
I didn't reply.
I didn't know what to reply.
Hindi ko alam kung pagmumurahin ko ba yung gago o ignore ko na lang and move on to the next wrong guy...
But I kept on thinking how casual it was for She and He. She didn't have a bit of surprise or anger in her voice when I picked her call - she was monotone to say the least. And He acted like it was just another day in the office. And I - I was just plain LOST. At that moment, I wished I knew what was going on in their heads. Super Twilight Zone moment ko yun.
Alam mo yung feeling ng white plastic bag na nasa kalye na palutang-lutang lang dahil sa buga ng mga usok ng tricycle? Yung parang sa American Beauty. Parang ganun yung nararamdamn ko nun - I was floating in nothingness.
THREE days after -
He calling...
Rejected.
He calling...
Rejected.
He calling...
Silence.
"Hey - kamusta?" It was He who spoke first.
"You at work?" It was He again...
"Yup." It was me - finally.
Naisip ko, kung kaswal lang sa kanya - eh dapat, kaswal din lng sa akin. I'm going to play his game and I won't be left to lose this time... Or so I thought.
"Daanan kita mga 7, kain tayo." He
"Won't be out til 9 later." I
"Hintayin kita." He
"Ikaw bahala." I
"Okay. See you mamaya. Bye." He
What the ef* am I getting myself into? Jusko! Lord have mercy! Those were the first thoughts that entered my mind the moment I put my phone down. Wala na naman kasiguraduhan 'tong gagawin ko - at alam na alam kong sa bandang huli ako pa rin ang talo. Ang pangit ng outlook ko sa pakikipagrelasyon kung tutuusin - kasi para sa akin laro ito na may nananalo at natatalo. At sawa na akong matalo.
It was 9 - He was there finishing a bottle of 7 Up.
"Bahay mo na lang tayo - namalengke na ako" He
"Nagpaalam ka ba?" I
"Maya na yang issues mo Kuya Boy - luto muna tayo saka kain" He
He bought a pack of Bacon, a kilo of Rice, cream soup and a litro of orange Tang.
Halfway into the orange Tang...
"I'm married for four years now and I have twins." He started in the most casual manner. "And my marriage with She was more for convenience than anything - i got her pregnant at sa mata ng mga magulang namin, dapat may kasalan. Don't get us wrong..." He was now speaking for She also. "We respect the sanctity of marriage that's why we're still living together as a family. Pero alam din namin magpakatotoo sa mga sarili namin. I love my twins and She - pero selfish din ako. Alam kong may hinahanap pa ako..."
Silence.
"And if there's one agreement that we are religious about - its Birthdays. Mine, She's and the Twin's birthdays are for the family. Korny I know, but its the one condition She asks of Me and I have had no problem with it -- so far. My sabit ako - that's the hard fact - and I've laid it on the table - you do to it what you wish." He finished.
I drank what was left of the Tang litro as if it were my last and then...
"So... you like bacon?" I said.
He grinned and all my defenses fell down.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Na Naman...
ILANG beses ko na bang sinabing "TAMA NA?" Ilang beses ko na din bang sinabing "LAST NA TO TALAGA?" Kung Hindu god siguro ako, kailangan ko pang magpatubo ng isa pang set ng tig-four arms sa kanan at kaliwa kong balakang para lang mabilang kung ilang beses na akong umayaw sa sitwasyon ko.
FRIDAY ng gabi, nag-stock na ako ng Chocomani saka Bacon kasi weekend na naman. At pag weekend I know that it's mine - akin ang weekend mo. We were finishing our Love Boat marathon - finally... But halfway between putting the bacon in the fridge and munching on an apple, I remembered - its her birthday the next day... She's 31.
MATAGAL na nating usapan sa kontrata na bawal ang kaartehan ko kung birthday niya. Na yung bisperas, araw at post-bday date ay kay She at kay She at kay She lang. In short, i have to be nonexistent for three days at least - this I know I OWE She.
IT was five years ago, and it was your first time to sleep over. It was high-time sabi ko sa sarili ko. We've been seeing each other for 6 months already at isa pa nauso nun yung mga hidden videos sa motel so sa bahay na lang kasi mahirap na... I remember the exact position we have comfortably fit ourselves into - my right ear on your chest, just above your heart and your hands lingering on my hair. It was perfect - just the sound of your heart beating to my breathing gets me high the most. That was until...
"Is He with you?" it was a girl - I picked his phone up because the screen flashed "Boss calling..."
"Who's this?" I replied.
"Its She - ..."
Silence.
"Look," She started, "its not the first time. You're not the first. I may not be okay with this set-up but it works for He and me. And I have nothing against..."
HE snatched the phone.
MY head was hearing drums the size of Araneta Colosseum and I literally froze.
All I heard from He was "Okay - I'm coming home."
ETO na naman ako. Yung ang una kong inisip. Heto na naman ako falling for the wrong guy. The few relationships I have had suddenly flashed before my eyes and then I saw my future - a constant choosing of the wrong guy...
"We could skip whatever you have to say. Just leave" It was I speaking.
He picked his trousers up, put his t-shirt on, and then his shoes and then kissed my head...
"You and I - we'll be okay..." It was He.
I heard the door close.
FRIDAY ng gabi, nag-stock na ako ng Chocomani saka Bacon kasi weekend na naman. At pag weekend I know that it's mine - akin ang weekend mo. We were finishing our Love Boat marathon - finally... But halfway between putting the bacon in the fridge and munching on an apple, I remembered - its her birthday the next day... She's 31.
MATAGAL na nating usapan sa kontrata na bawal ang kaartehan ko kung birthday niya. Na yung bisperas, araw at post-bday date ay kay She at kay She at kay She lang. In short, i have to be nonexistent for three days at least - this I know I OWE She.
IT was five years ago, and it was your first time to sleep over. It was high-time sabi ko sa sarili ko. We've been seeing each other for 6 months already at isa pa nauso nun yung mga hidden videos sa motel so sa bahay na lang kasi mahirap na... I remember the exact position we have comfortably fit ourselves into - my right ear on your chest, just above your heart and your hands lingering on my hair. It was perfect - just the sound of your heart beating to my breathing gets me high the most. That was until...
"Is He with you?" it was a girl - I picked his phone up because the screen flashed "Boss calling..."
"Who's this?" I replied.
"Its She - ..."
Silence.
"Look," She started, "its not the first time. You're not the first. I may not be okay with this set-up but it works for He and me. And I have nothing against..."
HE snatched the phone.
MY head was hearing drums the size of Araneta Colosseum and I literally froze.
All I heard from He was "Okay - I'm coming home."
ETO na naman ako. Yung ang una kong inisip. Heto na naman ako falling for the wrong guy. The few relationships I have had suddenly flashed before my eyes and then I saw my future - a constant choosing of the wrong guy...
"We could skip whatever you have to say. Just leave" It was I speaking.
He picked his trousers up, put his t-shirt on, and then his shoes and then kissed my head...
"You and I - we'll be okay..." It was He.
I heard the door close.
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