HE vs ME... 1

WE have a lot of differences, but funny thing, there's always something that ties us together.

 -o0o-

HE: Never drinks straight from the beer bottle - HE's gay that way. Hahahaha. HE always have to have a glass.

ME: Loves to grip the bottle and hoist it up my mouth - and I'm gay that way too. Hahahaha. I don't know if its just me, but I stand firm in asserting that beer taste's better straight from its bottle.

WE both love beer with our lives and more, it becomes a match made in heaven with leche flan and ube - OUR all-time favorite pulutan (YES! It topples cracklings or sisig or dingdong!). The sweetness just explodes in your palette after the bitterness of beer.




PS: It was during the last day of my final examinations last week that the above beers, leche flan, and ube were mercilessly devoured. After which, ME got mercilessly devoured as well - yay!

PPS: WE like drinking on the floor, its kinda been our "thing" long since HE moved in. HE says, his butt gets fired up when HE drinks and the coldness of the tiled floor helps suppress the heat. (Malibog kasi talaga pwetan niya. Hehehe.)

I take from my dad...

He did not know what just happened.

He struggled to say something, but like the times before, he chose to leave instead.

I stood there as I heard the soft thud of the door close.

How ironic, a soft thud to mask the explosion that just happened.

There goes my dad, I thought, doing what he does well - running away.

And with one look at my Ate, I know she was thinking the same.


-o0o-


Hindi ko napigilan, i'm so sorry K. It was Ate.

What happened? ME

I read Mama's phone, tine-text sya nung babae. Ate

Ano sinabi kay Mama? ME

Bad things. I mean, I don't even know where this babae is coming from. The nerve of that slut! Ate

I'm coming home. ME

When my Ate curses, I know its a matter of National Interest and Security so  I rushed home.


-o0o-


You see, my dad had a mistress.

Wait.

My dad has a mistress.

There, better...

He had a couple of mistresses actually...

A 5-year relationship with an OFW from Abu Dhabi (which I do not get - kasi ano naman yun - long distance love affair? Ano yung point db?). Then a couple of 1 or 2 or 3 (or infinite) night infidelities with beer garden girls. And now, he is with someone in her early twenties with one child (READ: the babae is 22, more than half my dad's age).

I mean sure, early on, when my ate and ME realized that he goes home to someone else and does things with her like a husband does to his wife, we were crushed - heartbroken even. But then my dad stages really good comebacks - tears and all - and we would all forgive him. But then, if you do the same thing over and over again, it would feel like reruns of 7th Heaven - you can only tolerate so much. So in time, we have learned to tolerate it, so long as he keeps the mistresses at a distant and disciplined. So far, my dad has done a marvelous job up until last week...


-o0o-


I have a plan. My Ate said.

I hate it when you drag me into your plans. ME

He cursed Mama. Ate

Ay puta sya, ano plano?! Tara na ate, tara na! Taga saan ba yan? Pu... ME

O-A. Ate

Pero talaga,sinabi niya kay Mama yun? ME

Oo. I really don't know where the babae got the idea that the babae could even dare speak to us. Ate

So now what? ME

I have her number, we'll call her. Ate


-o0o-


Of all my dad's mistresses, this particular babae had the nerve to come into contact with us.

I mean to us, just like previous babae's of my dad, they are practically non-existent. They hover above our perfect family portrait, but that's just that - they do not get to participate in the portrait - but they can hover all they want.

Perhaps, its the babae's youth that makes her aggressive. Or just her plain ignorance and lack of thought of the repercussions of what she just did.  (ME and Ate are betting on the latter).


-o0o-


So after dinner, my dad was doing his sales reports while my Mama and Little Sister were doing dessert.

ME and Ate were just outside the door. She took her phone out.

Ringing...

Ringing...

Makining ka putang ina mo... Alam mo yang... Hello? HELLO! Ate

She hang up. Puta sya, she hang up on me! Ate

Ringing...

Ringing...

Ringing...

Subukan mong ibaba at tignan natin kung babalikan ka pa ni St***. Ate

Hindi ko alam, putang ina ka, kung anong klaseng kang tao, putang ina mo, pero subukan mong itext o kausapin ulit ang Mama ko at makikita mo. 'Tang ina ka, wala naman kaming ginagawa sayo bkit kailangan mong maging parte ng buhay namin... Ate continued.

To this end my Ate had a grin on her face. She held the phone to my ear, all I could hear was the babae cursing. I gave her a puzzled look - more puzzled than Mona Lisa's smile.

Ate stormed towards my dad and gave him the phone.


Putang ina mo, sino 'to? My Dad.

Then he turned pale.


-o0o-


My Ate and ME might curse the hell out of our spites but we never ever have cursed each other or Mama or dad. Tapos yung babae could just easily curse us to death? Puta siya! (Ay, redundant...)

So being "the" son, I had to talk to Mama. I told her that Ate read the texts of the babae to her and we were both upset that we had to something about it.

You don't have to fight my battles for me you know - I'm the Mama - I should be doing that for you and your Ate. My Mama said.

I just smiled. She has been through a lot with my dad and I know na kahit tarantado yung tatay ko, mahal siya ng nanay ko. She had all the reasons to leave him - yet she stays.

Sit. I'll do the dishes. I told Mama

We're not kids anymore Ma, inasmuch as you would like us to be. Saka hindi namin papalagpasin yun. Kung hindi kaya disiplinahin ni dad yung babae nya, kami na gagawa para sa kanya. ME

Where's dad now? Mama

You're impossible! ME as i rolled my eyes.

What? Mama

Dad's babae just ridiculed and molested your pagkatao Ma and you're still asking me where dad is? He could be in hell - I wouldn't care! ME

I don't either - since long time ago. Ate just entered the kitchen.

You two don't mean that. Mama

She was right - we didn't. But I would have given anything to hate him that moment. But I knew I wasn't in a position to judge my dad or the babae for obvious reasons. But unlike the babae - I know my place and I have every bit of respect for SHE. Its the upbringing I guess and the intellectual maturity that I and SHE share that's why we're cool and all (yabang lang). With the first encounter of the babae I can safely assume that the babae doesn't have 3/4s of my Mama's class.

Come to think of it, all my dad's mistresses were women of ill repute - exactly the opposite of my Mama's Grace Kelly meets Rosemarie Gil personality. It could be a fetish or just like my Ate said, its just the sex - but my Mama couldn't be that bad... (Eww, just had a mental image - erase... erase...)

Look, this is not something new in this family. We've been through this before and we have stayed intact and I would like to keep it that way. Mama said and looking at Ate, And its your wedding in two weeks, we do not need this drama right now.

How am I suppose to trust my husband-to-be with dad setting such a great example. Ate with all the hints of sarcasm in her voice.

You don't - trust is an illusion. But you have a chance to create a relationship based on truth - I think that's what you both should strive for. Mama

Hay, no wonder we're a mess - a douchebag for a dad and a romantic for a Mama. ME

We laughed - all the three of us. And just like that, our dad was (again) forgiven.

Huhu Nga...

Bakit masakit? It was HE.

My faced looked more confused than Paolo B's sexuality.

Masakit ang alin? I finally said.

Ang pwet mo after, eh ilang beses naman na natin ginagawa. Hihihihihi. HE

Gago! ME

Hindi, seriously, kapag tinatawag na bakla ang isang tao, bakit masakit? HE

Someone called you gay? ME

Wala naman, pero ikaw, I often see a pained expression when someone calls you that. HE

Like last Sunday at SM, habang bumubili tayo, yung bata... HE continued.


Like what I'm seeing now - in your face... HE added


I mean, bakit tayo, nagsasabihin din naman ng bakla, pero you don't react the way you do when others call you that... HE went on.


-o0o-

You see, HE can very well pass as a straight guy.

ME?

I'm a give-away specially when I start to talk.(Its only my mamma and my pappa that denies it. Hahahaha.)


-o0o-

Well, it has been like that since I was a kid. Painful kasi siguro after lahat ng pinatunayan ko sa sarili ko at sa mundo, I still get reduced to being bakla. I guess naman kasi its hard to see past that di ba? ME said finally

Yes, but... HE

But what? ME

Totoo naman di ba? Na bakla ka at bakla ako... HE

Pero? ME

Pero bakit masakit kahit totoo? HE

Indulge me my dear Socrates. ME (I call HIM Socrates when HE gets all Philosophical on ME)

Kung totoo naman na bakla tayo, bakit nasasaktan ka kung sinasabihan kang "bakla?" So is it not the case that we just affirm na being bakla is undesirable if we are pained by being called such? HE

 I hate it when you make sense. Hehehehe. ME said.

Look, its not a question of the undesirability of being gay that I feel that is why I am pained by the term. It is more of a disappointment with the society that after what gay people have contributed we are reduced to ridicule by children nonetheless, blatantly calling out people bakla as if its okay to. I mean, I have faith in the society's ability to adapt to sexual and gender changes, but to see children act the way our generation acted before, makes me want to lose hope in the whole idea of social evolution. ME added.

Is it true? Very much. Is it painful? Yes. But faith my dear Socrates... Faith that it will be different when the twin's are where we are now. ME concluded.

So I guess its true then... HE

What is? ME

That TRUTH is painful. HE




PS. His conclusion was non sequitur, but I love him regardless...

I HAVE to Choose...

I thought I could handle three things at the same time...

But I guess three c*cks  are different from three actual life plans...

So lesson ONE: What you can do in bed does not necessarily parallel outside the bed.

Sigh - the things WE can do if it were the case...

But seriously - I HAVE BECOME MEDIOCRE.

When I was just doing one of the above, I was above average and now I'm barely hanging to poor bordering stupid...

Here's how I got tangled with the mess I'm in...

Right after college, I did RED, from 15 sections in the first year, we were cut to just 5 on the second. It was a good sign - no failed subjects and average is okay to get me through at least the second year (I just have to get through being called "kuya" every time).

But I got bored with RED so I took a sabbatical and started with BLUE. BLUE opened up opportunities for me  - I have had so many firsts with BLUE... I got to see places out of Luzon and the country, and got to attend seminars with CEOs and Directors (bilang PA ng boss ko - hahahahahahaha). I was the pioneer in all the three positions I was given as they were precisely created for me (taray much). The room for growth given by my bosses was so HUGE that its starting to swallow me whole... So the problem starts...

Barely a year and a half with BLUE, I grew tired. The processes are practically stable and the staff are well on their way to doing their jobs without supervision - this was the goal after all. What I only account for now are the usual evaluations and planning. I felt I needed something more fulfilling - so entered YELLOW.

I LUVRE YELLOW. The joy it brings me when a student gets the correct answer in a question I throw in class, is orgasmic - in a weird-academic way. But the best is when they argue with you and stand by their opinions no matter how hard you try to deconstruct their arguements and convince them that they are logically incorrect - a fallacy of sorts. I guess YELLOW kept me sane - it was my haven - with YELLOW, I felt needed.

But alas, after a year with YELLOW, I decided to go back to RED in fear of losing my inheritance (hahahahaha). So I was doing BLUE in the morning, RED at night, YELLOW on Saturdays and God on Sundays. I felt like Anemone (Cue opening song from Magic Night Rayearth) - I could do everything. Not until I saw my midterm grades at RED that it hit me - I was failing, miserably at that.

So I decided that I have to give up one.

YELLOW was definitely a keeper - its either RED or BLUE that I have to let go.

BLUE pays for all my bills.

RED consumes most of what I earn from BLUE.


BLUE does not excite me anymore.

RED, however, manages to keep me on my toes.

If I give up BLUE, YELLOW definitely cannot sustain my living (have you seen the budget cut on education?).

RED, meanwhile, is a good investment for the future and if I'm lucky enough, I shall fulfill my mamma's dream for me (maybe then I could come out - hahahahahaha).

Hence, it shall boil down to the age-old battle between what I need and what I want.

HE offered to help out with RED but I declined, its just something that I have to do and manage by myself, I told HIM. Besides, he helps more than enough with the household expenses already and he is, after all, a family man.

Eenie meenie miney moe... RED or BLUE Kaloy?

Sigh...